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Perpetual Exhaustion
hanging on by a thread

Sunday, April 15, 2007
Happy 3rd Birthday to my Little Man Lucas,

When i found out i was surprisingly pregnant with you, it was at an unbelievable time. Your twin sisters were only 4 mos old, i had just sought help for my post partum depression, and your oldest sister was only 3 yrs old. It took me quite some time to accept the gift i had been given, a naturally concieved, unplanned pregnancy. But once i did, i wanted you, and couldn't wait for you to make your entrance into my life.
My pregnancy with you was different then with the girls, I wasn't nearly as sick with you. In fact my pregnancy with you was pretty uneventful for the most part. Taking care of your sisters though and being pregnant with you was tiring on me. And towards the end i was counting the days. You were due on the the girls 1st birthday, but because i was going to have a scheduled csection, you were due to arrive on April 30th instead. You had different plans, and on April 15th when i went into labour, the doctors delievered you. You were supposed to be about 37 weeks gestation, so pretty much full term. You were born weighing 6 lbs 10 oz and you came screaming into the world. Just after you were born though, the doctors noticed you having problems breathing and you were rushed away to the NICU. You started off on being on a little supplemental hood air, then a CPAP machine, then a full blown ventilator, to almost dying. You spent the first 16 days of your life in two different hospitals NICU's. You showed me then how much of a fighter you were...and how tightly my heart was griped in your tiny hands. During your first year i watched you grow and change. Hitting all of your milestones, always behind what would be considered average. You were such a happy guy, and so incredibly easy going. You fit right into our crazy life and enjoyed watching those three crazy big sisters of yours play around you. Your first year was full of illnesses, we spent a great deal of time at your peds office. Those underdeveloped lungs of yours at birth were making you more prone to lung issues. Every cold you got went straight to your chest. We had to buy our own nebulizer!!
It was during the second year of your life that you became a total and complete mama's boy. The signs were there before, but this year sealed the deal. Only i could put you to bed at night, only i could change your diaper, get you ready for bed at night, comfort your cries in the middle of the night. You run and give me kisses and love to snuggle in my lap. With your sisters off in preschool, and Daynah in school full time, we get three mornings a week just to ourselves...and i've enjoyed that one on one time with you so very much. You are such a joy to my life. You are the most amazing person, the one thing i never knew i wanted and now i would die to protect you. So today you turn 3, and i can hardly believe it. You are turning into such a little boy, and yet you have so many babyish qualities about you still. I love you more then i can ever put into words, and i can not wait to continue to watch you grow. I love you my beautiful, wonderful, amazing, stubborn, destructo, train loving son.

Barely Written by geenalyn at 10:46 PM |


At 7:54 AM, Blogger mamatulip said........
Awwww...Happy Birthday, Lucas!!

At 12:55 AM, Anonymous Candace said........
Happy Birthday Lucas! I hope you had a great day.

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