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Perpetual Exhaustion
hanging on by a thread

Thursday, March 29, 2007
I've become good friends with a group of moms whose children go to preschool with my three little ones. We first met in a Friday morning class where we joined our children and as the course progressed we gradually withdrew from the room so that the children would get comfortable attending a class on their own one day. When the Friday morning class ended just before xmas last year, we all decided to sign up for the on your own preschool class on wednesday afternoons. While our kids were in the class, the 6 of us would sit in the lounge and talk. We discussed kid related things, like potty training and birthday parties, how to teach your kids the abc's, among other things. We discussed our husbands, our pasts....we just talked. Each one of us looked forward to those wednesday afternoons where we could just sit in that back room while our children were having a great time and just chat and have a good time with each other. That wednesday afternoon course ended 3 weeks ago and a new session just started up yesterday. All the moms signed back up for the class again, and while we all will say that our children love the course, we will also readily admit that we signed them all up again for those afternoon chats. In the two weeks that were off between sessions, we got together at our houses for playdates during those two hours. Yesterday at 1pm we were there all eager to drop our kids off, say hello to each other and catch up on what had gone on in each other's lives in the week since we last seen each other. Once the class started and we were all in the back, we noticed and commented that one of our group wasn't there, but just assumed that her little girl must be sick, or since her mom was having surgery the week before maybe she was taking care of her. We started talking, our kids food issues and what they will and will not eat being a big topic. It was probably about an hour or more into the class when that day will forever put prospective in my life. One of the moms in our group had come in a bit later, and since we were all talking and having a good time, not wanting to bring down the mood at the time she just joined naturally into the conversations. It was only after we had all been talking for that hour, when she shared with us where our missing mom was.

Our missing mom would not be coming back to our afternoon chats, she hopefully will be able to get her money back for the course. Over the weekend, while she was out for half an hour with her 4 yr old beautiful daughter at wal-mart, her husband changed their lives forever. In the short time that his family was gone, he cut his wrists and his neck and left himself to die. Our mom, our friend, came home and found him, we aren't sure if her daughter saw her daddy in that state. He was still alive, and is currently in a coma but it doesn't look like he will pull thru. My friend is hysterical, she is trying to spend her time at the hospital with her husband, praying that he lives, wondering why he would do this, and trying to spend time with her four year old daughter who doesn't understand any of this, who is quite attached to her mommy and adores her daddy. She has so many decisions that lie ahead of her, faced with an uncertain future. She has already said that she wants to put her house up for sale, and i don't blame her, i wouldn't want to live there after that either. If her husband does not survive, how will she explain what happened to her daughter (how will she expalin it is he survives). Her daughter will be starting kindergarten in the fall, and dealing with this huge loss and more then likely the loss of her mother as a stay at home parent because she'll have to go back to work since insurance won't pay out when someone commits suicide. My heart is breaking for all that she must be feeling right now. My heart is breaking for that little girl. I am angry at her husband for doing such an incredibly selfish thing even though i know he must not have been in his right mind to have done it. All of us moms want to do something for her, but we honestly have no clue what to do. One mom suggested sending flowers, but that seems so insufficient. Another knowing how much she loves all things spa related suggested sending a basket of lotions and the like, but that doesn't seem right at all.

The group of us have all discussed our husbands and sex lives with each other. Some have joked that they've been married long enough and could do without their husbands now, and if they had to do it over again would never get married, and most certaintly would never marry again if they were ever to divorce. Our mom, our friend who is going thru this right now, her husband works construction and had been home since just before xmas. She's always joked that he's driving her nuts being home this much and this long and she can't wait for him to go, i don't think this is what she had in mind.

Please keep my friend and her beautiful daughter in your thoughts. I can not even imagine how i would survive if i were in her shoes right now.

Barely Written by geenalyn at 2:42 PM |

3 Comments:

At 4:18 PM, Anonymous Allison said........
OMG G, I cannot even imagine. :(

My heart goes out to that woman and especially her daughter. It's so, so sad. Please keep us posted. I'll keep them in my prayers.
 


At 5:24 PM, Anonymous mamatulip said........
Man, you weren't kidding when you told me this was an emotional post.

I am so sorry for this woman and her family. So sad.

The first thing that came to mind when I read about you all wanting to do something is food. I'll bet the last thing this woman wants to do is cook, yet she's got a daughter to feed. Why don't you guys each make a dish that can be easily frozen and send them over to her -- all at once, so she doesn't get staggered visits one at a time? You could put them all in a box with each dish labeled with cooking instructions and pick one person to drop them off to her.

Maybe consider mentioning that her daughter is more than welcome to come over for playdates anytime, so your friend can have some time to herself...offer to babysit...not sure if you feel comfortable with that, but it's what I'd want, I think, if I were in that position. And I hope I never am.
 


At 2:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said........
:( Oh my......how just incredibly sad. I'm so, so sorry. And saddened.

*hugs*

EE
 



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